goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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