is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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