Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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