Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
