I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i will never coherently bang her
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize