check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
