i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
