You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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