Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
