Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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