K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Your tits are I can't wait for
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
