So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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