Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
