so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
