i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
