We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize