For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
