I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
