I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize