Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
