It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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