So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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