I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
