where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
