apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
