so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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