Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
