He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
