can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
