I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
