Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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