how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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