She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
