oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
this boner is exhausting
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize