I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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