She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
