i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
