is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize