dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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