help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize