Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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