There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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