the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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