i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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