What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
