Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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