I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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