I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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