so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
