He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
