he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So vagazzling was a success
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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