you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
