I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
