im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My dick has a subreddit
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
