Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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