Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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