your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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