I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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