lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
