am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
