There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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