Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
