I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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