Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
