Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
