GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
