we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
